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| A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough cash to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly over his bed. His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer's wife, up in the attic cleaning, came upon the two forgotten pillow cases stuffed with cash. "Oh, that darned fool," she exclaimed. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement." | | |
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My friend, Matt Kelty is running for Mayor of Fort Wayne in next month's primary election. Matt is a solid Christian, godly father and husband, wise businessman and well qualified man to be out city's next mayor. Matt Kelty has three attributes that stand out to me separating him from other candidates in this race: 1. Matt Kelty will lead with a healthy view of the roll of local government: I agree with Matt's view that it is not the government's responsibility to create jobs and revitalize the city's economy but instead to build city infrastructure and encourage new businesses/business growth through zoning, tax incentives, and making it at easy as possible for business owners to make their companies thrive in our city. Matt's professional demeanor will allow him to interact with business owners to discover how the city can best help their businesses - and therefore their employees and our city - to succeed. 2. Matt Kelty will lead with an energy level that makes things happen: Matt has the energy and enthusiasm needed to transform the Mayor's office from a talking head to working and walking hands and feet. Matt is never content with discovering an obstacle and resigning the task as impossible. Instead, he will find a way around, over, under or through the obstacle so that he can continue in the path he feels is best. Matt will bring a fresh perspective to the Mayor's office through which he will be able to lead our city and Allen County to greater possibilities. 3. Matt Kelty will lead with a life that is defined by his Faith in Jesus Christ. Matt is not just a moral Christian man who is running for office; he is a man who desires for every aspect of his life to be a reflection of his faith. I have known Matt for over a decade and have seen this to be true in his life as a neighbor, a husband and father, a businessman and a political leader as his faith has defined his life. To me, this consistency is Matt Kelty's most important attribute. Now it's your turn: I know Dan already posted on this last week, but some of you may not have seen it or, if you did, didn't vote so I'm gonna post it again: The News-Sentinel is running a straw poll for the local elections. Please follow this link and show your support for Matt Kelty's campaign. While this is not a scientific poll, we must not let our opponents gain any advantage, however slight. News-Sentinel Straw Poll. If you are unable to follow this link please cut and paste this into your browser address line. http://fwnextweb1.fortwayne.com/ns/election/index.php?send=Done And finally, note from Matt Kelty: With the endorsement of Nelson Peters by Congressman Souder, we are witness once again to the vested interests trying to maintain their influence on this election.
Now more then ever we need your support to win the upcoming primary and capture the Mayors office. Do not be discouraged by this endorsement, instead, look at it for what it is, an attempt to assure victory for the lessor candidate who is a cog in the machine, rather than the free thinker who would bring a fresh viewpoint to the city.
If you have any questions, please contact me at the campaign office (260) 422-2007 or through our website. Thank you for your support. Please forward this message on to all of your friends, family, co-workers, and anyone you feel might help us will the upcoming election. 
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| Updates are funny things. Or at least, I like them to be funny cause I like to laugh. Pretty sure I've run out of pictures of stupid signs to post so I'll have to go find some... brb* OK, decided on some stupid warning lables... Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.
Windex
Do not spray in eyes. Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.
Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.
Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.
Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.
Baby Oil
Keep out of reach of children
Little Ones Baby Lotion
Keep away from children
Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.
Wet-Nap
Directions: Tear open packet and use.
Dial Soap
Directions: Use like regular soap. Stridex Foaming Face Wash
May contain foam. Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant
Use only on underarms. Zantac 75
Do not take if allergic to zantac.
Sleeping Pills
Warning: May cause Drowsiness
Christmas Lights
Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.
Bic Lighter
Ignite lighter away from face.
Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark | | |
| "Look at how great a love the Father has given us, that we should be called God's children. And we are!"
1 John 3:1a | | |
| OK, so what I was gonna say is that in 24 hours I'll be done with my Constitutional Law final exam and ready to party. But when I started typing the subject line, it made me think of the Switchfoot song... I'll have to grab that CD from my car on my lunch break since I now have a CD player at work! (Def reason to celebrate) Anyway, so tomorrow morning is my final and then I will officially be finished with Constitutional Law. (Assuming I get at least a D-) The really cool thing (dripping with sarcasm) is that I'll finish up with my final right about the time everyone else goes back to school! I hate my schedule. Oh well, now if we could just get some cold weather and snow so I can go skiing. 
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